love them while you can

grief of losing a pet

source - pinterest ( im not ready to hard launch my cuties )

by the grief of the pets that i lost, i have finally learned that animals love in a language the our heart understands before the mind does. soft, pure, and absolute. and maybe thats why their absence feels so heartbreaking.

i think of the street dogs first, those fragile wanderers with eyes that hold more longing than fear. those little pups once played in the open space near my home, turning dust into laughter. i never got the chance to played with them ( i regret, i apologise ), yet their tiny presence stitched warmth into my ordinary days.

and then, suddenly, they were gone - poisoned. the silence left behind felt like someone had stolen the small suns of the local streets.

even tho this whole situation still goes through my mind once in a month, my real grief began with my first pet. she came to me as a gift, a little body filled with trust i didnt yet know how to honor, i loved her a lot, but not enough, not in the way time demands. she fell ill, and before i could understand loss, it had already taken her. no last pat, no goodbyes, just a gap in the world where her heartbeat used to be. for days, sorrow clung to me and i used to blame myself for the way i couldn't hold all my pets for long enough. i had gone with her to the vet every week for a month, never imagining that june would be the last chapter of her life.

then came the pet i have now, my second chance, so small he could fit inside a cup, white nd a bit of brown and impossibly soft, like the universe was apologizing in fur. the moment i saw him, something in me unclenched, i held him like a promise i wouldn't fail this time.

so now i watch him wobble around the house, terrified of the word "nahana," throwing himself over for belly rubs, trusting me with a devotion im still learning how to deserve. and maybe thats all animals ask for, that while their lives flicker beside ours, we meet them with gentleness, because their worlds are small, and we are everything for them.

and the only tragedy deeper than losing them is not loving them fiercely enough before they disappear.